Technical Difficulties

The other night I found myself staring at a pan of Chicken Club Flat bread, which I had received after an order placed almost an hour prior at Somebuddy's. The first question that popped into my mind was "How the hell do I eat this?" Fork and knife? Cut it into strips and fold it like a sandwich? Eat it like pizza? The ways were numerous but none of them proved very efficient. After spending now lost time staring at the bizarre platter placed before me, I managed to attempt enough ways to eat the food that I had consumed almost half of my dinner.

Have you ever noticed that eating an apple, when you think about it, seems like a fairly simple action. I find the apple is always slightly too big for my jaw to stretch open and chomp a decent size bite out of the darn thing. Something as stupid as an apple, turns into a sitting messier than a 2 year old eating cheerios and chocolate pudding at the kitchen table.

They put little pop up boxes in Windows XP telling you how to navigate the computer. "Click here to start". "AVG updates are ready to install. Click here to get the latest updates". Where's the Microsoft Office Assistant when you need him? Can't they have a fork with eyes on the side of the menu page saying "It seems you are having trouble eating your food. Please try eating that this way..." Blah blah blah. Stupid paper-clip.

Another thing they have is those -For Dummies books. Computers For Dummies. XP For Dummes. Dating For Dummies. Why-tee-eff don't they have Eating Unusual Foods For Dummies? Would've been a big hit with people who eat out on a regular basis.

Frustratingly yours,
~Chiko

Curiosity & Karma

Time to time I find myself indulging in the endless archive of information which lies at my finger tips. Digging through files upon files of text based lifeforms. When the world is so readily available, you tend to find your mind wandering about questions which have remained unanswered, some tang of hope lying in a crevice in your brain of trying to find reassurance where it is not, or should not, be needed.

There is no more true statement then Curiosity Killed the Cat. Curiosity is just as much of a nagging bitch as karma. The two go hand in hand quite well, I'm afraid. But if curiosity killed the cat, obviously there must be someone else at fault, am I right? That is just how the world rolls. It is never your fault. Always push the blame onto someone or something else. Well, curiosity may have killed the cat indeed, but ignorance pushed it. Over the cliff into the damn abyss.

If curiosity won't kill you, you can guarantee Karma will be sitting there like a camping sniper guarding the only exit. Karma will shoot you and send your mind into a guilt trip for taking that path. The inevitability of predictable outcomes will never abandon us.

I hope I never end up like that cursed cat, exiled from the 12 zodiacs. Just imagine falling forever, down down down. A never ending black hole. Tisk tisk. Damn gullible cat.

Passionately lost in thought,
~Chiko<3